Alzheimer's and Acceptance

Alzheimer's it is a disease we hear and see daily.  It seems to be a part of everyone's lives almost like cancer. If you don't have it someone in the family does. It eats away at your feelings, emotions, and your heart.

My Dad has Alzheimer's. Yeah I admitted it to my friends a few months ago. It was hard. I guess you would call it a stage. I didn't want to tell people about it because if I did it would be true and I would have to deal with it. It is true and it is hard to even think about it let alone deal with it.

I cannot fathom how it would be in a few months. I don't want to face that truth it is too hard. Being and empath it is a challenge to understand and accept what is going on. I want to stop it in it's tracks. Freeze it anything to take it away. I want to absorb it out of him. I tell the universe let me have it not him. They won't listen they just tell me I am next in line because of the carbon monoxide poisoning. Thanks I tell them. I want it out of him I don't care about my life I just want his to be. I want him to be living and enjoying life. Right now he won't go anywhere. You can't force him and if you try it will stress him out which he doesn't need.

Cures aren't coming soon enough. They are going though so much red tape. I see a bleak future for those in the final stages. Something has to be done sooner. We need to work faster and harder to freeze or obliterate it all together. That is my one wish since I can't take it from him and you know I won't stop trying.

Right now he has skin cancer and we are going to be dealing with that soon. Sometimes we have to be strong for those around us. Sometimes we have to realize that acceptance is harder as the disease progresses. Sometimes we need to realize that reality is staring us in the face and fate is laughing at us when we are trying to be positive. Sadly there is no positive.

Cancer in our Suzy

You know when you think of cancer you think of humans. You never think our fur babies. But this week we found out our beloved golden may have spleen cancer. She is about 11 years old and it seems in her breed it is common between 8-10 years of age.

Suzy was a foster to us when we got her. She had come from an abused home. We decided to keep her. My husband gave her to me for my birthday gift. She is such a wonderful fur baby. She always has to have something in her mouth. She takes son's and my husband's socks all the time. She buries every sock or dish towel we don't get from her. She has her own stash under the deck. Plus she will dig up an old towel or sock and try to bring the muddy thing into the house, in which I have to intercept and tell her she has toys in the house or put a new towel in her mouth when she comes in. Old toys are dug up and need to go in the washing machine so she can have it later. She is our funny ol gal. She always has one of us chasing to get something out of her mouth and replace it with what she can have. I think she considers it a game.

I have been wrestling with this for about a week when she showed the signs of the cancer. At first we thought it was just her age and her belly began to swell. It has the pot belly pig appearance. Our vet is on vacation till the end of the week but we have been in touch with the office. They told us what we may or will have to do. Removing the cancer only will give our Suzy only 3 more months just 3. I don't want her to suffer. But this isn't easy. When your fur baby is family it kills you. We have four dogs I have been wondering how they will react. Brady, Spunky and Mindy without their sister. The cats without her. There already feels like a growing whole in the family and we haven't laid her to spirit yet. We have a little over a week till the vet comes back. Until then we are keeping her happy and content meanwhile our hearts are breaking inside. It hurts so much to know you will be losing a family member soon. This empty space starts to fill. This void this aching pain. I take some sort of peace to know that she will be at peace and with us in spirit. I will probably see her a week after out of the corner of my eye letting me know she is there with my family members and she is being taken care of. But for now I am crushed. My husband is crushed as well as our son. We have been lucky to enjoy so many wonderful and fun years with her. For that I am grateful.

I don't understand why our fur babies need to be subject to human illnesses. It hardly seems fair for them. Cancer comes on so silent and so quickly in our fur babies. Always make sure to love and treasure them.